My Sanity...

How soon is too soon and how does time measure what we have inside? How can time be seen as an ally when it asserts definiteness in our own lives and hearts? I guess we can never be to sure about anything and everything in this world. I guess I cannot be truly comfortable with the fact of love in my midst. Sometimes hurt and pain disguises itself in its clothes and bears the hope and light I know that I deserve. But it never takes place 'coz i see it lurking in the corner and i cannot do anything but pull out my sword and fight to save myself from falling deeply into the ground. It is also a way to be able to defend myself and relinquish whatever integrity and dignity i have left in me for myself. I know it is the best way to be able to understand the rigorous way of life and live; probably in the long run I will be able to accept the love and positive regard confronted upon my life.

But I cannot deny the fact that I could be a hazard to myself. I always tell myself it is okay but every time I see the opportunity of love I grab on it too easily. So I end back to where I started. I am back to square one and I have no choice but be and still be. No matter how hard I try to pretend the non-existence of sadness creeping into my life and in my head it cannot be denied because it is too painful to be left unnoticed. It is to inhumane of me to leave things at that has been disrupted but the heart cannot be denied. The love I feel is too strong to bear. The state of my humanly equilibrium is tested but I won't let it get in the way of life and opportunities. But i have to give in to the love I feel or else I would suffer the usual consequences of unrequited love and conformity. To risk is to something I adhere to in the present age and time of my life. Without ever taking risks, my life can be viewed as something unchallenging and conventional. I have to fight even if I lose. Losing is just a small part to make it essential. But the important thing is that you love...to truly achieve the human side of You and to truly get the need for existence...***

What truly matter most..

One of the greatest things that my son Xavier has taught me, is to live life in the present. The sense of wonder that i see in his eyes every time he learns something new, or the proud beam of accomplishment he radiates when he does something all by himself are some of the most satisfying moments i could ever experience as a parent; add to that the endless kisses , hugs and "i love you's" that i receive throughout the day..truly i can say, there is nothing more that i could ask for...Everyday Xave teaches me that, it is the simple, honest joys of life that truly matter most!!!

MY REFLECTIONS...

MY VIVID MEMORIES OF CHILDHOOD...

Looking back, there's one thing that i can never forget when talking about my childhood days..i guess that was the time when i got to realize and question myself and my mom "Why am i so fragile?"..i see myself as a weakling and i get easily hurt by the words of other people..there's something in me that is lacking and searching.."Where is my father?".. why did he left us when he found out that my mother was pregnant of me.."Am i worthless?"..At an early age i was faced with this fact that i don't have a father not like any other kids i know..with this reality, being a child is not that normal and easy for me..i used to isolate myself from others thinking that i don't belong.....:'(

MY PASSIONS...

Acceptance, Family, Singing, and the joy of dreamin'...

MY LIFE'S TREASURES...

The people who loves and truly cares for me..my mom and my 4 siblings who truly inspire me..my husband who's been always there..my lola who would do anythin' for me and my kiddo who always put a smile on my face..tnx for having u guys in my life u r truly my greatest possessions!!!

MY GREATEST DOWNFALL...

It was the time when the person i trusted so much betrayed me!! it was really a big turning point for me..SO MUCH that i was broken into pieces..my hope and my dreams suddenly faded..that it came to the point that i wanted to end my own life for it..all that i've invested with was lost..i don't know where to start again..and how to cope up with the fall!!!

I've learned...

I've learned....that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person...I've learned....that when you're in love, it shows...I've learned....that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day...I've learned....that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world...I've learned....that being kind is more important than being right...I've learned....that you should never say no to a gift from a child...I've learned....that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way...I've learned....that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with...I've learned....that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand...I've learned....that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult...I've learned....that life is like a roll of toilet paper, The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes...I've learned....that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for...I've learned....that money doesn't buy class...I've learned....that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular...I've learned....that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved...I've learned....that the Lord didn't do it all in one day...What makes me think I can? I've learned....that to ignore the facts does not change the facts...I've learned....that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you...I've learned....that love, not time, heals all wounds...I've learned....that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.I've learned....that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile...I've learned....that there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks...I've learned....that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them...I've learned....that life is tough, but I'm tougher...I've learned....that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss...I've learned....that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere...I've learned....that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them...I've learned....that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks...I've learned....that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it...I've learned....that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it...I've learned....that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation...I've learned....that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done...ciao! :)

im gonna love you for the rest of my life..

angel in disguise
stories in his eyes
love for every true heart that it sees
was it just a lucky day
that he turned and looked my way
or is it heaven right before my very eyes
he showed me all new things
the shimmer of moon beams
i was blinde but now he's helped me see
I was lost but now i'm found
His happiness surounds
and now i found that my dreams can come true
cuz i'm gona love you for the rest of my life
I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine
I cant live without you
Cuz my soul would die
Ya know I'm telling the truth
Ill spend the rest of my life
loving you
It didnt start this way
It happened just one day
You smiled at me and i asw you differently
Now I would tremble just to be
A part of you as we
begin a life thats sure to never end
cuz I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life
I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine
I cant live without you Cuz my soul would die
Ya know I'm telling the truth
I'll spend the rest of my life loving you
the rest of my life loving you